i lie in a empty room
empty thoughts with cold whispers
i can feel the yesterday
touching regrets with my numb body
i know misery will cease my peace mind
everything
everything brings me tears these days
the way the sky gleems at me
the way that baby smiles without doubts
hours spent on nothing
hearing the rain hitting against the pavement
i’m forgetting reality
what is real
why are we here
listening to my favorite song
losing a simple game
remembering endless memories
watching death
hearing your footsteps in my dreams
the way no one listens
how no one really knows you
the way the wind blows beneath me
those adventures spent on innocent encounters
believing in something, anything
everything brings me tears these days
abandoned road
the universe is in my favor
but it isn’t much of a savior
a river full of empty promises
can hear it from this darkened consciousness
hearing past mistakes telling me what i did wrong
i cry & i cry to leave me alone
trapped back in this abandoned road
i gave up on myself a long time ago
around me
there are all these people around me
loving me
there are all these people around me
destroying me
there are all these people around me
making me hate myself
there are all these people around me
they don’t know a thing
there all these people around me
they don’t realize i am alone
i fear love
nothing hurts more than the pain of loss
the rejection of no reason
the kiss that should’ve meant nothing
that dream you wake up from; disappointed it wasn’t real
the wanting of something you fear to have
merely because you’ve never had it before
i fear love
i smile there
i taste it in my dreams
i smile there
in real life; it’s too risky
like a child running with scissors
i smile there
the way the silk sheets rub against my body
being caressed by fears
holding my heart in someone else’s chest
i smile there
No one inside
No one truly understands me
No one truly intrigues me
No one makes me feel complete
To many nights spent thinking on love
To many nights spent on loving no one
Living on myself because it’s safe
I don’t care that I am pretty
I am destroyed inside
unknown desert
i feel so lost & unbalanced
walking through a desert of snow
it freezes my fingertips & i lose touch
takes over my mind; i feel nothing
i lay in a dark room filled with noise
hearing voices of nostalgia
i fear the unknown
textured silence
lost between the clouds
of a shine less night
& the whispers of loud silence.
i smell the sun from a shadow of tomorrow.
no more words
without one last whiff of the wet pavements.
breathe the texture of unspoken thoughts.
reserved change
i don’t like going to parties
but it’s nice to be invited
i want a lot of friends
but i tend to be reserved
i believe in soul mates
but i don’t believe in forever
one day i live far away
but i’m terrified of change
